Rejection….

Rejection….

No one likes rejection, that feeling that you’re not good enough…

Or wanted…

Left out of the group…

Turned away….

Rejected….

Today for me was a hard one.  I watched as my children were rejected by a volunteer at the public library.  Oh, it wasn’t a major event.  The kids simply wanted to listen in at the story time, and the age range was where one of the kids’ reading level is.  The staff knew two of the three children and our family for years, but the volunteer for the story time didn’t, and had no clue of their special needs.

She turned all three children away.

She rejected my children, not allowing them to listen at story time in the open area of the public library.  She reasoned that their name wasn’t on a register and they didn’t have a nifty handwritten lanyard and name badge in official black Sharpie.

A friend saw my tears and tackled the problem after I packed all three children back into the car, one of them in tears not understanding why they weren’t allowed to simply sit quietly and listen along with the other children.  She got the problem resolved in minutes, Lord bless her!

But, no matter what words are said by anyone in the library now, the damage is done.  Trust is broken.  My children had been rejected.

Yes, this is a small matter, nothing major.  Place it in a line with past rejections where the children are concerned, and it hurts more than it should.  They’ve been rejected by noncustodial parents, by teachers, family members, friends, etc…this should have been miniscule.

When you’re a parent of special needs children, you experience rejectio a lot.  It’s like it comes part and parcel at times.  Sometimes it sparks anger, other times hurt.  You find rejection in many places, from doctor’s offices, school, parent groups, friends, camps, school activities, public areas, family, you name it.

Why so much??

Because the children aren’t “normal”.

Because our lives revolve around different goals and dreams and realitiesthan most others.

Because the children have different needs.

Because the children behave differently (more often than not, are actually better behaved than those around them).

Because they believe in Jesus and the Bible.

Rejection is a part of life, and there’s no way to always avoid it.  People will turn us away.  Does it make rejection easier?  No.

We may not always avoid rejection, but we can choose how we handle it.  We can choose grace or retaliation, walk away or fight.  When our children are the object of rejection, the notion to get even, “make them pay”, etc for hurts rises to the top.  Do we have to act on it?  No.

We can turn to Jesus.

Jesus said life wouldn’t be easy, but that He’d be with us.  (this is taken from the Abella unauthorized version).  He said we’d face persecutions, have things done to us, but He’d be there to comfort us.

Jesus knew of rejection.  He understands.  His own creation abandoned Him.  His own people rejected His message, His gift of salvation, His life.  Even God had to turn His back on Jesus at one point, on order for Jesus to take our punishment.  It broke God’s heart to have to reject His own Son.

If you know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior, He will never reject you.  He will never leave you nor forsake you.

When others turn away, Jesus doesn’t.

If you’d like to have Jesus as your Savior….Read Here to learn how to receive the Gift of Salvation!

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Shared at:

A Mama’s Story   Changed By The Maker  Raising Arrows  The Better Mom

Teaching What Is Good  Growing Home The Modest Mom What Joy Is Mine

Leaving a Legacy A Wise Woman Builds Her Home Raising Homemakers

The Purposeful Mom Raising Mighty Arrows Feminine Adventures

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10 thoughts on “Rejection….

  1. Rejection – what a painful topic! We always try to avoid it, but you are so right…it is GOING to come. And how to teach our children to turn to Jesus in the middle of it, how to show them that HE understands the hurt and pain because He lived with it as well. And He died from it! But to teach them His joy – that it was “for the joy set before Him that He endured the cross” is the greatest accomplishment we can have as parents.

    You are doing such a marvelous job in pointing your sweet children to Jesus. Thank you so much for your encouragement and transparency in this post. I would love for you to come and share this on my Tuesday link-up “Loving Our Children” on my blog…it would be such a tremendous encouragement to other moms!

    Found you through Making Mondays Meaningful.

    • Thank you for your kind words. 🙂

      There’s times I think the best way to get across is from the part that we don’t want to expose–it’s easy to push back feelings and post only about happy stuff, but digging into those things that hurt or cause feelings…that shows the true person. I hope to do more of these type, the more meaningful posts….maybe what my family and I have been through, seen, done, etc can be of help to others. 🙂

  2. As a former autism teacher, I’ve certainly seen kids with special needs ignored or rejected. It made me a strong advocate for them, but it never hurt me personally (as a teacher). I guess I considered myself a bridge between the typical world and the world of my students — lack of exposure and knowledge is usually at the core of the problem. However, now that I homeschool my own two (typical) boys, I recognize that they are sometimes rejected by public school peers (like at park and rec. sports and such). I don’t think this is malicious, but it is still difficult for my mommy heart to watch.

    Thank you for this thoughtful post, and thanks for linking up at Make Life Meaningful Monday!

    • Thank you for hosting the link up.

      I know teachers who work with children on the spectrum work hard–they have to in order to get through to the children! I couldn’t imagine working in a classroom with many, as our 3 are more than I can handle some days. My hats off to you!!!

  3. What a beautiful account from a mother’s heart. It is so hard to see our children rejected but as you stated we are never alone. I once heard or read about someone you said ‘when I can’t God can’. This post brings this to mind. The youngest of our three children has Down syndrome and she is 2 1/2 so we are embarking on this journey with Jesus by our sides. In addition to rejection I also struggle with pity. God Bless your family. You have a new reader.

    • Thank you! I think the rejection and pity that our children receive is almost part and parcel in our society. I don’t want either for our children, but it seems to come a lot. I think too the more the special needs are outwardly shown, the more it happens. With ours, if you set them together for say a soccer game or some kind of activity, you’d never be able to tell there’s a problem (when they all have their meds on board and it’s about mid day). Early mornings, later in the evenings, or on days when we forget a medication (by accident), it’s there and very visible. In our little corner, our kids don’t have outward physical problems. Oh sure, they aren’t as adept with using fine motor skills–they can do all the basics mostly, except tying shoes is a problem–but they can run and jump and all that. My biological son Kevin, he has minor speech problems, takes a while to get out what he wants to say, but he tries. The other 2, the oldest and youngest, are my stepchildren who live here at home with me and their dad, and I raise as my own. My Kevin has the most in being behind, with reading and spelling and math and such, but he learns at his own pace. Michael and Jess, they have their own ASD problems, Michael presenting the most sensory stuff, and Jessica just being soooooo bashful and quiet and introverted.

      I took care of adults with Down’s, as well as other issues, in a group home setting. I wouldn’t trade that experience for the world–what I learned with them has helped prepare me for handling the kids I have now. Of course when I took care of a woman with autism in a pretty moderate form, I never dreamed I’d have 3 children at home in close age range with it as well. It takes not a strong parent to handle the special needs, but a loving God. It is when we are weakest that we have His strength to get through.

  4. Rejection is always difficult to experience and so heartbreaking for us moms when our children have to experience it. Thankfully, God does not reject us, his children, even if this world does at one time or another. Thank you for sharing this at WJIM this week.

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