In Good Times and Bad

Marriage is one of those relationships where you choose your partner, and you have to choose each day to stay with them.  Our vows say for better or worse, in sickness and health.  Do we really mean that at the time we say them, or are we starry eyed and dreamy?

I’ll be the first to tell you all, our marriage is not perfect.  Some days it’s a trainwreck complete with an explosion.  We are opposites, both stubborn, and then throw in children who act like us into the mix, and we have a perfect wreck.  Hubbs will yell and take things out on inanimate objects.  I will yell and go clean something.  There’s been times most of our house has been spotless in a short time, and I’ve joked that to get it done very fast, make me mad.  I think there’s times he takes me up on it.

There’s two options for us.  Stay and work things out, or let the marriage go.  Hubby is on his second marriage (I’m wife #2), I’m on my first and only.  Each day we choose not to go to a divorce lawyer.  Instead, we go visit our pastor weekly for counselling.  Some weeks are better than others.  When we put God in the middle and focus on Him, our week goes so much better, we are cordial to each other, we don’t set each other off in tirades that go nowhere, and there’s less stress.  When we forego our bible reading, praying, etc, the train derails and there’s mass casualties.

If your marriage needs help, don’t be afraid to go to your pastor and seek counselling.  Sometimes it takes an outside view, from someone who has a biblical view and knowledge, to help.  That outside view, along with biblical insight, can help diffuse situations, help us take a look at things in a different light.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

God created marriage, between woman and man.  He must be the center of your marriage, or it won’t be the marriage it can and should be.  Picture it as a triangle, with husband and wife at opposite side of the base.  If we focus on God, we can’t help but come together.  If we don’t focus on Him, we’re going to stay far from each other.  It’s up to us to decide what we want.

I am not a perfect wife.  I have many flaws.  I am stubborn.  I am strong, to a fault at times.  I see in black and white with no real room for gray.  I have high expectations, and there’s times my husband cannot (or won’t) live up to them.  I can growl and bark with the best of them.  Oh there’s more…believe me there’s more….

It’s taken some drastic things to make me step back and say..”help..”  There’s been occasions that I would walk away if I had chance.  But the Lord will not let me.  Instead He finds ways to encourage and build.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  Don’t think that all marriages are perfect, based on the outward view from the pew or blog or anywhere else.  We are human, with lots of room needed for growth.

Stay focused on the Lord, and He will guide you.

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